It’s Valentine’s Day. In my practice in Bern, a young man is sitting across from me with his slightly younger girlfriend. He talks. She stays quiet. I listen. As I do, my gaze shifts back and forth between him and her.

They’re here for a breast augmentation consultation, and it quickly becomes clear whose idea it originally was: his. «I want to give my girlfriend a breast augmentation as a gift,» he says, looking at her lovingly and squeezing her hand. She responds with a shy smile, then looks down, slightly embarrassed.

Is this OK? Is it OK to give your partner a plastic surgery procedure – a cosmetic operation – as a gift?

The scene I just described really happened, just not on Valentine’s Day. In 12 years of private practice, I’ve had many similar consultations where a couple sat before me, and the man spoke more than the woman—even though it was about her, her body, her well-being, her emotions, and ultimately, her wishes.

Whenever that happens, alarm bells go off in my head. I listen and observe carefully. Whether it’s a breast augmentation or a non-invasive wrinkle treatment, I must be sure that the woman genuinely wants the procedure for herself – and isn’t just going along with her partner’s wishes (or fantasies).

In situations like these, the most important thing isn’t what the man says. What matters is what the woman says – verbally and, even more so, non-verbally. If I can’t eliminate my doubts during the initial consultation, I try to arrange a second conversation with the woman alone.

Sometimes, it turns out that the woman does, in fact, want a breast augmentation, but she has different ideas about size and shape than her partner does. As we all know, men tend to prefer larger, more dramatic results. But I won’t fulfil requests for overly large breasts that don’t match a woman’s body proportions. The same applies even if the request comes from the woman herself.

So, back to my question: Is a breast augmentation as a Valentine’s Day gift OK? My answer: It depends.

Yes, it’s OK, if the woman convinces me that she wants the procedure for herself. And as with any surgery, I must be able to fully stand behind it from both a medical and aesthetic perspective.

And yes, it’s OK, if the man is genuinely the one paying for it, whether it’s a gift for Valentine’s Day, a birthday, or any other occasion. Of course, I can’t verify who actually covers the cost. But here again, the woman’s body language says more than words ever could.

We all love gifts, especially those that bring us joy and come from the heart.

Wishing all women a beautiful Valentine’s Day – and plenty of red roses.

Dr. med. Borut Banič

Board-certified Specialist in Plastic, Reconstructive, and Aesthetic Surgery (FMH)
Fellow of The European Board of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgery (FEBOPRAS)